SALTBURN - film

Hooo boy, Saltburn - a black comedy psychological thriller - is something else. In a good way! It’s terrific. I saw a review that described it as “a tale of grotesque overprivilege” and to that I say, BOOM, you are correct good lady.

Starring faces familiar to *ahem* my vintage, Saltburn features Rosamund Pike and Richard E Grant (both hilarious in this) as well as Hot Young Things Jacob Elordi (Euphoria & Priscilla) and Barry Keoghan (Banshees of Inisherin). There’s also a relatively small but hilarious role for Carey Mulligan.

Set in the early 2000s, Saltburn follows Ollie (Keoghan) to Oxford University where he’s known as the scholarship kid wearing clothes from op shops. He strikes up a friendship with aristocratic Felix (Elordi, who is Australian) and is introduced to Felix’s family and whole world when he visits their country manor Saltburn for the summer. WEIRD STUFF HAPPENS IN THE SUMMER AT SALTBURN YOU GUYS. Like, super weird. Honestly, I gasped numerous times! I also laughed a lot too so it’s not all bleakly gasp-worthy!

Regular readers will know I love a film that runs 90-100 minutes and at 131 minutes I reckon Saltburn could have easily coped with a 20-25 minute trim and still been an excellent film, but it’s a small gripe really.

Saltburn is rated MA15+ and opens on Thursday 16 November 2023.

OPPENHEIMER

J Robert Oppenheimer was an American theoretical physicist born in 1904 and ‘Oppenheimer’ is a biopic, starring Cillian Murphy as the man himself, that hones in on his time leading a top-secret project to build nuclear weapons and specifically to create a bomb to end World War II. Spoiler alert - he was successful in doing so.

Now, we need to talk about the fact that this film is three hours long. Long-time readers of this blog will know I’m a 90-100 minutes kinda gal and I know I’m not alone! A three hour film is literally twice as long as a good film should be! (My view is correct… der.) For me, Oppenheimer is too long in the general comfort and attention span way but also content-wise, it could comfortably be 30-60 minutes shorter and be a great film. I think there’s a tendency to assume longer = better (epic!) and maybe more likely to win awards and I’m just not here for that. *steps off soap box*

The film jumps around in time and context and it’s easy to follow (and if I think it’s easy to follow it is - I typically get confused by films that do this) but this is an indication of how much is going on in the story. There are two US government hearings to cover as well as Oppenheimer’s life and work including his romantic relationships. (He was a bit of a dirty dog, you see, though the film doesn’t focus hugely on this.)

The first act of the film is the build up to whether Oppenheimer and his team will successfully build the atomic bomb. It’s long - too long - and seeks to build tension as indicated by the soaring soundtrack to these moments. But here’s the thing … I didn’t feel any tension. At all. I’ve pondered whether this is because I knew they would successfully get the bomb off the ground (pardon the pun) but I’m not sure it’s that. But I’m not sure what it is.

There’s an all-star cast. Cillian Murphy leading (he’s excellent), Robert Downey Jnr (also excellent, playing a political enemy of Oppenheimer), Emily Blunt (wife), Florence Pugh (fling), Matt Damon (military boss) and Rami Malik in a surprisingly small role.

Oppenheimer is, by and large, getting very positive reviews. Lots of 4 and 5 stars including this 5 star review in the Daily Telegraph. For me it’s more like 3 and whilst I didn’t ask him for a star rating, the friend I took to the screening agreed with me that it didn’t live up to the hype. So we’re a sample of just two but for what it’s worth, The Age has given it 3.5 stars and is certainly less glowing than many.

This blog is a bit longer than I like them to be. I blame the length of Oppenheimer - look what they made me do! I’m a mess! So here’s me cutting to the chase on Oppenheimer … it’s not as good as I hoped or expected but it’s not terrible, far from it. Heaps of people will like it. But you’ve gotta be up for three hours. ARE YOU UP FOR THREE HOURS?!

Oppenheimer is in cinemas now and is rated MA 15+.

BARBIE

Oh Barbie. My fear is that, in trying to be something for everyone this film has become nothing for anyone. Because, to cut to the chase, this film isn’t ideal for kids and isn’t ideal for adults and that just leaves… teenagers? I guess to be fair, there were plenty of teenages in the screening I was at and they seemed to love it.

Quick (sorta) synopsis: Margot Robbie plays the main Barbie (perfect - she’s stunning) and whilst living in Barbieland, a world full of happy, successful and diverse* Barbies and Kens including main Ken played by Ryan Gosling (also perfect - also stunning), she has an existential crisis which sees her visit the real world. Honestly, the storyline of how she gets there, what she does there, and how it’s resolved is all just silly but hey, this isn’t claiming to be intellectual. But maybe it is with Greta Gerwig as director … my brain doesn’t know how to process this!

To expand re kids and adults, I think most of the storyline will just go completely over kids’ heads. It’s not a kids’ film in the way, say, Frozen is. Since I don’t have kids I wanted to test this thinking with people who do and my sample size of two - thanks H & M and L & W - confirmed that thinking. It’s not that it would be problematic for kids - there’s plenty of colour and great songs to entertain - but I just think they’ll potentially get bored and they’ll be disappointed if they go into it thinking it’ll be comparable to Frozen!

And re adults, well, we’re not a homogenous bunch I guess but for me, whilst I enjoyed the high-brow gags, the feminist themes and the camp performances (Ryan Gosling kills it) overall it was just a bit … dumb?!

So in summary, I didn’t love it but certainly didn’t hate it. And frankly no matter what the reviews said (they’re mixed) I would have seen this just to satisfy my curiosity and I suspect many readers will be the same! So go forth and see this and let me know what you think please, especially if you take kids!

Barbie is in cinemas now. It runs 114 minutes and is rated PG.

* three cheers for there being a fat woman (Barbie!) on the big screen and her being happy and not miserable! There are happy fat people you guys! (Massive tangent now but if you’ve seen The Whale and particularly if you liked it, read this please and thank you)

Melbourne International Comedy Festival

It’s that time again! We are so lucky to have this festival in Victoria! I’m going to let you know about two shows I’ve seen but also give some general recommendations for the festival and comedy from the comfort of home too.

Prue Blake: I caught Prue’s show with a friend and we really enjoyed it! It’s Prue’s first solo comedy festival show and for a first-timer, it was really funny! Her show ‘Unfriended’ explores some of the funny complexities of friendships, especially when you’re younger - lots to relate to! There’s a line in her show about dulce de leche which still makes me chuckle when I hear her in my head saying it. Prue could easily end up in the next crop of successful comics like Anne Edmonds and Celia Pacquola … she’s got the talent and more flying hours on stage will help polish her act.

Laura Hughes: You might recognise Laura’s face from TV shows such as At Home Alone Together and Legally Brown. Her common name, though, is the basis for this show in which she introduces us to six characters, all named Laura Hughes. The opening gambit - a TED Talk-delivering wellness guru - is strong and funny but the second of six - a woman who show jumps dogs - was a low point which I’m surprised she hasn’t ditched from the show given it’s pretty clear she can see it’s not a winner. (It’s a shame - that concept has such potential and with time it could have been so much better.) Watching Millionaire Hotseat with her ill father was a throughline of the show and the excerpts she played on stage were as baffling as they were hilarious but unfortunately the ending to the stand up routine where she circles back to the death of her father fell flat. The crowd just didn’t know what to do with such a sombre ending and there hadn’t been enough discussion of her dad through the show for us to be engaged with the return to the topic. My friend and I both agreed this is probably a 2.5 star show but in the interests of fairness, there was a man-spreading gent in the row in front of us who laughed A LOT AND VERY LOUDLY so she was obviously more up his alley than ours!

Having only caught two shows myself so far, here’s some suggestions of comics I’ve seen and loved in the past… (I can’t vouch for their 2023 shows but past quality is often a good yardstick!) Try Anne Edmonds (though she’s doing disappointingly few shows this year), Geraldine Hickey, Nath Valvo doing a best-of, Dave O’Neil & Luke Heggie.

And for those who want to LOL from your comfy couch instead of get out and see a show (BUT YOU SHOULD GET OUT AND SEE A SHOW!) here’s some great stand-up you can watch for free on ABC iView…

Celia Pacquola - https://iview.abc.net.au/show/celia-pacquola-all-talk

Zoe Coombs Marr - https://iview.abc.net.au/show/zoe-coombs-marr-bossy-bottom

Judith Lucy - https://iview.abc.net.au/show/judith-lucy-vs-men

Anne Edmonds - https://iview.abc.net.au/show/anne-edmonds-what-s-wrong-with-you

2023 MICF gala - https://iview.abc.net.au/show/melbourne-comedy-festival/series/2023/video/LE2216V001S00

AIR - film

AIR is a drama about the creation of the ‘Air Jordan’ brand by Nike, named for basketball superstar Michael Jordan. It’s so good!

Starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Viola Davis, Jason Bateman and Marlon Wayans, it takes us behind the scenes of how one super enthusiastic Nike executive - Damon as Sonny Vaccaro - negotiated the then unlikely deal that set a new and unmatched standard for sports branding.

This film is good old-fashioned Hollywood storytelling and well worth your hard-earned to get along and see. And a good one for couples or groups with diverse taste - it has broad appeal and will be enjoyed by most I reckon. Enjoy!

AIR is rated M, runs 112 minutes and opens in Australia on 5 April. Here’s a positive review in the New York Times if you want to read more.

ALLELUJAH - film

Look, Allelujah is… well… it’s… a bit baffling, truth be told.

I’m well up for anything containing Jennifer Saunders, Dame Judy Dench and Russell Tovey so I didn’t need to be asked twice to see this one. Whilst funny here and there, it’s not a comedy, so don’t go along to this thinking you’ll see Jennifer Saunders at her comedic best. Dramatic best? Sure. But even her dramatic acting skills can’t save this film from the very puzzling change of tone, direction etc about three quarters of the way through! Honestly, it was like it became a completely different film with the shift sign-posted with a melodramatic change in music just to make sure you understand ‘things are now BAD’. And then even if you could go along with the ‘things are now BAD’ gear change, there was yet another super weird gear shift where one of the characters in the film talked down the barrel of the camera about the importance of the National Health Service in the UK. It was thematically linked to the film but it’d be like Harold Bishop delivering a monologue about the value of the Salvos for the last few minutes of an episode of Neighbours! The audience is left to think, well, sure, but that’s a completely weird way to end Neighbours, WTF!

I concur with this two star review in The Guardian which you can read if you’d like to know more about the film. (When I’ve told you I think it’s baffling and not worth seeing it seems pointless to go into the plot … cut to the chase & all that!) In the interests of balance, here’s a four star review from The Telegraph UK

Allelujah opens April 6, runs 99 minutes (YESSSS) and is yet to be classified.

CHAMPIONS - films

Against his will initially, Marcus (Woody Harrelson) winds up coaching a basketball team of people with a disability. You won’t believe it guys … he comes to love it! Truly, if a bunch of children yelled “he’s behind you!” in this film, as though they were watching a pantomime in London starring a washed up Neighbours cast member, it wouldn’t have been a surprise, such is this film’s predictability.

BUT! In spite of its predictability there is some real joy in Champions. I mean, how refreshing to see such a diverse cast of people with diverse abilities on the big screen! And the reminder, if a little twee, that pursuits like basketball aren’t all about winning is kinda good for the soul.

I am curious about what people with a disability think of this film and hoped to share some representative views with you but the review embargo lifted just one day before release so I haven’t been able to find any yet in that small window. All of which is to say… if people with disability have any objections to how they are portrayed in this film, we should listen.

Here’s a 3.5 star review in The Age of Champions if you want to read more. Probably a smidge generous for me … more like 3 here.

Champions opens 9 March, is rated M and runs 124 minutes.

WOMEN TALKING - film

Hoooo boy. This film is excellent! But it’s not easy going.

This is an adaptation of a 2018 novel about a large group of women in a remote, isolated, religious community who are being traumatised, physically and emotionally, by the men of the community. You never see the abusive men in this film - it’s firmly focused on the women. And what a cast of women it is! You don’t have to ask me twice to watch Frances McDormand in anything. (Though she doesn’t get a lot of screen time, disappointingly.) Rooney Mara and Claire Foy are also compelling.

The men of the community are taken into custody for their crimes but their release is inevitable. The women have a brief moment, with the men absent, in which they can possibly change the course of their lives. But of course they don’t all agree on what to do. So they talk … a lot. It’s fascinating and moving and complicated.

Someone in the screening I was at started a round of applause at the end which is very rare* but the sign of a terrific movie**.

Here’s a five star review of the film from The Guardian if you want to read more.

Women Talking is rated M, runs 104 minutes and opens on 16 February.

* Thank goodness. So lame!

** Or that there’s a dufus in attendance.

SPOILER ALERT - film

No that’s what the film is called, it’s not me sign-posting that I’m going to spoil something!

Spoiler alert is a drama starring Sally Field … that’s basically all I knew when I walked into the cinema right as it was starting. HOOOOO BOY I was not prepared for what happens next.

*ALERT* THIS FILM IS VERY VERY SAD.

It opens with the aforementioned spoiler alert - someone’s gonna die. As the film started to unfold as a love story I though to myself, ‘if this movie is just two people falling in love and then one of them dying I’m gonna be real cranky*’ … and so it was.

So if you need a big ol’ weep to get some stuff of your chest, this is perfect for you. However if you’re remotely fragile you must avoid this like the plague. (Or covid maybe - is that how that saying goes now?)

Here’s a proper review (three stars - fair, I reckon) if you want to read more about the film, which is based on a best-selling novel of the same name.

Spoiler alert open on 9 February in Australia, is rated M, and runs 112 minutes.

*just because that’s an emotional rollercoaster I can live without at the end of a long day!

Summer special

Summer in Australia = Hollywood awards season so this is when movie studios release their biggest and best. I’ve bundled up a few here with a SUPER cut to the chase approach, even shorter than in the past.

SHE SAID - loved this dramatisation of when two young women journalists uncovered Harvey Weinstein’s crimes, it’s absolutely fantastic. Trailer here.

TAR - my friend and I couldn’t believe how bad this was. It’s getting many rave reviews which means our expectations were high. They were not met. Cate Blanchett stars and her performance is incredible but not enough to save this. Long, slow and nowhere near enough tension to be a thriller. Trailer here.

BANSHEES OF INISHERIN - loved this. It’s bleak in parts (animal lovers, prepare for a moment of devastation) but funny and complex and full of excellent performances including from Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson. Trailer here.

THE FABELMANS - started out enjoying this semi-autobiographical coming of age story by Stephen Spielberg but my god it outstays its welcome. At 2.5 hours it’s 45 minutes too long and you feel it. Michelle Williams’ performance is excellent - I imagine she and Cate Blanchett will fight it out for the Best Actress Oscar. Trailer here.

DON'T WORRY DARLING

Don’t Worry Darling has been called the most talked about film of the year and I reckon that’s probably right. If you’ve missed all that palaver you can catch up here. (I believe he DID spit but what the hell would I know?) The buzz hasn’t really been about whether the film is any good though so your ol’ pal is back to cut to the chase!

Long-time readers will know I’m not a big fan of saying heaps about the plot of the film but the short version is that DWD tells the story of 1950s husband and wife Jack (Harry Styles) and Alice (Florence Pugh), who live in a utopian experimental community named Victory. It’s important to note that it’s badged as a psychological thriller; a fact about this film I suspect is not widely known. This is a spoiler-free zone but I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that all is not as it seems and it’s Alice who spots it and unravels accordingly. The plot twists are real ‘WTF’ stuff and not in a good way but more on that below.

This film starts out ok. Better than I expected, to be honest! The first half or so is three star territory for me. But then Don’t Worry Darling takes an utterly baffling turn (or three), from which it never recovers, landing it comfortably in one star territory. So I guess that’s a sum total of a two star film. (Who said word bloggers aren’t good at maths - I just worked out an average!)

Director Olivia Wilde (who is also a supporting star in the film) has talked a lot about the feminist agenda of the film. I wondered if it had the feminist chops she was claiming but sadly I just don’t reckon it does. Yes, the film focuses on Alice’s sexual pleasure over Jack’s but if you want me to celebrate you as a feminist hero I’m gonna need more than that. You can read more about this in The Guardian’s article ‘The empty feminism of Don’t Worry Darling’ if you’re interested.

Ordinarily two stars wouldn’t have me encouraging you to see this film but in a funny way, I do think you should see it if you’ve been following the dramas at all. There’s a certain satisfaction in watching the film to ‘close the loop’, if you will. It’s pretty bonkers and there can be joy in that!

Don’t Worry Darling is rated M, runs 122 minutes and opens 6 October. Trailer here.

Melbourne International Comedy Festival

I wish I could resist the temptation to open with sappy commentary about how great it is that Melbourne’s back but here’s the thing you guys; Melbourne’s back and good grief it’s a relief. Covid has left it’s dark, depressing stain on so many of us in so many ways but if I may say so, Victorians in particular have had a brutal couple of years. We have earned a laugh and we are so lucky to have the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in our beautiful town. So this is my clarion call to run, not walk, to a show at the festival in the next week before it wraps up.

I’m eschewing the approach I’ve taken in the past by blogging a bunch of individual shows. The truth is, I don’t have it in me to be unkind about anyone (#notallheroeswearcapes) so I’m just going to shine a light on the shows I reckon were ace. This year I’ve seen Dave O’Neil, Judith Lucy & Denise Scott, Sonia Di Iorio, David O’Doherty, Geraldine Hickey, Kirsty Webeck, Chris Parker and Nath Valvo. My favs for rapid-fire big laughs are undoubtedly Denise & Judith and Nath - both shows are well worth your money. Go and book some tickets now! The others were all genuinely pleasurable experiences too with Dave, David, Chris and Geraldine probably in my next tier down.

There’s loads of shows to see so even if none of the names I’ve mentioned here float your boat, just pick something that’s had a good review and make it happen. Book that babysitter, battle the increasingly full roads and trains to work in the office that day, convince your partner to make a night of it and go out for dinner. Truly, Victorians, I promise you that you will definitely not regret going to a little effort to spend the night having a good, restorative, belly-laugh. Get all the details here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022

An update

It’s been eight months since I saw a film in a cinema and blogged about it thanks to COVID. (A first world problem of the highest order in these times, I know.) For reasons I won’t bore you with I haven’t had the chance to miss it but recently I have contemplated the future of this blog and how I spend my time.

I have decided to change my approach so I’ll be seeing fewer things and posting here less frequently. I won’t be seeing films, theatre or comedy that I’m reliably informed are rubbish anymore and I won’t knowingly see things that profit misogynists, anti-Semites, racists or abusers. Without wishing to bore you with the details of how the sausage is made, deciding I won’t see the mediocre (or worse) stuff might mean I stop getting invited to see the good stuff.

So from now on I’ll just see what interests me if and when I want to (on my own dime, if the invites dry up) and I’ll post on here if I think something is great and you might like to hear about it.

I started this blog because I was frustrated by pretentious film reviews or reviews that seemed to go on and on about the plot without cutting to the chase to answer, is it any good?! I still think there could be more light-hearted takes on the arts but happily they are available more and more.

Changing my approach has allowed me to make my Twitter and Instagram accounts private which is helpful in my professional life. I’ve also ditched hundreds of junk followers and have closed the blog Facebook page.

So I’ll post here from time to time in future when life starts to return to normal and I can get out and see things, just for fun. Hopefully catch you online then!

Movies at home - an isolation special edition

So cinemas are closed and we’re all staying at home (STAY AT HOME!) so I thought this would be a good time to give you a run down of films you can watch from the comfort of your lounge room. This is a selection of films I’ve seen that are currently available on Netflix and SBS On Demand.

There’s lots of benefits to watching movies at home which can broadly be summarised as ‘you don’t encounter other people who do annoying stuff’. (Think chip packet crinkling, talking, using mobile phones etc.)

Here’s my recommendations, including a few at the end which I’ve eloquently categorised as “bad”…

Really good:

Dallas Buyers Club (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2014/02/dallas-buyers-club-film.html

The Rocket (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2013/08/the-rocket-film_30.html

Carol (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/19/1/2016/carol-film

Lion (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/14/1/2017/lion-film

The Breaker Upperers (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/28/7/2018/the-breaker-upperers-film

Lady Bird (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/15/12/2017/lady-bird-film

St Vincent (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2015/01/st-vincent-film.html

Brooklyn (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/17/2/2016/brooklyn-film

The Imitation Game (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2014/12/the-imitation-game-film.html

Philomena (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2013/12/philomena.html

Room (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/23/2/2016/room-film

Good:

Downsizing (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/10/12/2017/downsizing-film

The Big Short (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/20/1/2016/the-big-short-film

Gone Girl (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2014/10/gone-girl-film.html

The Great Gatsby (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2013/06/the-great-gatsby-film.html

The Children Act (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/30/11/2018/the-children-act-film

The Darkest Hour (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/15/12/2017/darkest-hour-film

Florence Foster Jenkins (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/1/5/2016/florence-foster-jenkins-film

The Sapphires (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2012/08/the-sapphires-film.html

Ali’s Wedding (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/26/8/2017/alis-wedding-film

The Lunchbox (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/2014/07/the-lunchbox-film.html

The Death of Stalin (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/12/3/2018/the-death-of-stalin-film

OK:

Pitch Perfect 3 (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/17/12/2017/pitch-perfect-3

La La Land (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/9/1/2017/la-la-land-film

Jackie (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/21/12/2016/jackie-film

Bad:

A Ghost Story (SBS) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/22/7/2017/a-ghost-story-film

Phantom Thread (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/30/1/2018/phantom-thread-film

Blockers (Netflix) http://cuttothechaseblog.com/blog/17/3/2018/blockers-film

HOPE GAP - film

When you see the names Bill Nighy and Annette Bening on a film poster you think, well surely this will be good. Sadly, these two talented actors are not enough to save Hope Gap from being a bit dull. Not terrible, just a bit ho hum.

A British drama about a couple who’ve been married for nearly 30 years, Hope Gap never manages to make Edward’s (Nighy) decision to leave Grace (Bening) all that interesting. She doesn’t see it coming and is, understandably, thrown for a loop. Their son Jamie (Josh O’Connor - you might recognise him as one of the actors to play Prince Charles in the Netflix series The Crown) does add a slightly interesting divergence but apart from getting painfully stuck in the middle of his separating parents, that line through the film is never too interesting either.

Hope Gap is, at best, one to catch when it appears on your small screens in my view. Here’s a two star review in The Guardian if you’d like to read more about this one.

Hope Gap opens 9 April. It’s rated M and runs for 100 minutes. Trailer here.

DARK WATERS - film

Based on real events, Dark Waters is an American dramatic thriller starring Mark Ruffalo as lawyer Rob Bilott, who turns from bad-guy-defender to bad-guy-bringer-downer-er.*

Apart from being a bit too long for my liking and a bit too dark, literally, I really enjoyed this film a lot.

Ruffalo is great (Ruffalo is a fun name… say it aloud!) and though it’s a smaller role than we’re used to seeing her in, Anne Hathaway is also very good as his wife. She must watch as he gets dragged deeper and deeper into trying to prosecute big chemical company DuPont for doing dodgy stuff with their chemicals which appear to be killing animals and humans.

Rob Bilott fights the good fight but not in that hot-shot Hollywood lawyer way, more in a realistic, downtrodden suburban lawyer kinda way. It’s compelling.

Dark Waters is well worth a look. Check out this four star review in The Guardian if you’d like to read more.

It’s in cinemas from 5 March, rated M and runs 127 minutes. Trailer here.

*WELL HOW WOULD YOU HAVE PUNCTUATED THAT, SMARTY-PANTS?! It’s not even proper actual words so even if I cared for rules they would not apply!

EMMA - film

I’m reminded of my recent blog about the new version of Little Women, in which I quoted a friend who asked me if we really needed another version of Little Women, to which I said HECK YES or something equally erudite.

So do we really need another version of Emma? Based on this one, nope.

This film is not bad but it’s boring. Well I was bored. Like, real bored. At the one hour mark (of a two hour film) I looked at my watch and thought, oh no, we’re only half way. And then what felt like an age later I looked at my watch again and somehow we were still only half way… because when I had looked at my watch 10 minutes earlier we had in fact only been at the 50 minute mark and I HAD ROUNDED UP TO SAVE MY TINY MIND.

Anyway, a slight break from usual programming here (if you want to know about plot, cast etc just Google it okaaaaay?!) … but that is my #cuttothechase on Emma.

Here’s a three star review but in the interests of fairness I feel compelled to tell you that it’s receiving even more generous reviews too.

Emma is in cinemas now. Trailer here.

MILITARY WIVES - film

This UK comedy drama based on a true story is pleasant enough but ultimately a bit ho hum.

Military Wives is about a group of women whose partners are serving with the military in Afghanistan and the film is a genuinely an interesting insight into the unique challenges they face. Many are raising children on their own and not working which seems to leave them socially and intellectually challenged. To cut to the chase, this prompts them to start a choir and the choir is selected to perform at a military event at Royal Albert Hall.

As you might expect they’re a diverse bunch of women with, in many cases, not much in common other than their partners’ jobs and the choir. Kristin Scott Thomas is excellent as the uptight, annoying but actually very kind and slightly traumatised (surprise!) wife of the head honcho soldier.

Whilst not really funny enough to be called a comedy, there is some laughs in this and oh boy is there some cries. (I know that doesn’t technically make sense but I also know that you know what I mean so perhaps you could humour me on this one?!) The crying thing is actually interesting because despite the fact that at around the half way point of this two hour film I looked at my watch and thought, oh boy, another whole hour to go, I really did cry a lot at the heartwarming ending to this film.

Anywaaaayyy, I guess I’m saying that whilst this isn’t a bad film, it’s also not one I can suggest you rush out for. One for when it pops up on Netflix, perhaps.

Here’s a three star review from The Guardian if you’d like to read more.

Military Wives is in cinemas from 12 March and is rated M. Trailer here.

THE GENTLEMEN - film

The Gentlemen is a British action comedy with a knock-out cast including Matthew McConaughey, Hugh Grant, Colin Farrell, Michelle Dockery and Jeremy Strong. (Strong is Kendall Roy in the TV show Succession which I loved, so this was a pleasant surprise for me.)

Written and directed by Guy Ritchie, whose films I have no particular love or hate for, The Gentlemen has a lot going on - arguably a bit too much - but I really enjoyed it.

Mickey Pearson (McConaughey) is a wealthy marijuana mogul living in London and looking to sell his empire. Cue highjinx (blackmail, bribery & a great deal of violence, for example) from a range of possible new head honchos jostling to snaffle up the underground business.

Hugh Grant doing a cockney accent takes some getting used to (it’d be easier if it were perfect but alas it’s a little hit and miss) but he does well with some very funny dialogue. Michelle Dockery doing cockney as Mickey’s wife is also jarring given she’s best known for her portrayal of posh lady Mary Crawley in Downton Abbey, but she nails it!

The Gentlemen has attracted mixed reviews. For example, it was a grim two stars from The Guardian but a kinder four stars from the Sydney Morning Herald. Enjoyment-wise, you can put me in the four star camp. It’s not perfect but I laughed a lot and I didn’t look at my watch once which, for a film that runs to nearly two hours, is a good sign.

The Gentlemen is rated MA 15+ and is in cinemas now. Trailer here.

JUST MERCY - film

Just Mercy is a drama that tells the true story of Walter McMillan (Jamie Foxx), an African American man who is in jail for a murder conviction he is fighting with the help of an idealistic Harvard law graduate, Bryan Stevenson (Michael B Jordan).

Stevenson has moved to Alabama to help black people on death row. The racism they face is so blatant that it’s painful.

I gather McMillan’s story is quite well known but confess I knew nothing about it. I won’t spoil the ending in case you don’t either but Stevenson proves a formidable opponent along with his colleague, legal administrator, Eva Ansley (Brie Larson).

It wouldn’t be quite right to say I enjoyed this film because despite it being very good, it was a bit difficult to watch at times. But if you’re open to a little discomfort interspersed through a good, inspiring film then this one is for you.

Foxx and Jordan are both very, very good in this and for those who are interested in such things, Jordan can be seen without a shirt briefly in the film. Sadly it’s not a cheerful moment in the film - far from it - but take a win when you can, I guess. (Yes, yes, I’m a terrible person who is bound to be struck by lightning at any moment, I know.)

My one criticism of this film is that it does feel a bit paint-by-numbers. I can live with that but it does mean there was never any edge-of-your-seat moments. Here’s a four star review from the Fairfax press and a slightly less generous three star review from The Guardian if you’d like to read more.

Just Mercy is in cinemas now. It’s rated M and runs for 137 minutes. (137 minutes is too long, even for a good film. Please stop doing this, film makers.) Trailer here.