If you liked the TV series and previous movies in the Downton franchise you’ll enjoy this. It’s pretty vanilla, no surprise deaths or anything noteworthy but nice enough. Beautiful to look at per usual, especially if you love the women’s fashion of the era.
Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale runs 123 minutes, is rated PG and is in cinemas now.
This film is intense! Aussie Austin Butler plays Hank, a bar man battling alcohol addiction living in New York who agrees to feed his neighbour’s cat. So far so normal. Then some seriously dodgy characters come looking for Hank’s cat owning neighbour and incorrectly assume he knows more than he does about what the missing cat owning neighbour has been up to! CHAOS ENSUES! Genuinely, the tension and chaos just builds and builds until you feel like you might burst! Suffice to say, there’s drugs and money involved.
There’s a fair bit of violence so Caught Stealing is not for the faint-hearted but it’s a rollicking ride which I’d definitely recommend. I saw it with my 20-something year old nephew and he loved it too. Austin Butler is superb, as is the supporting cast of Zoe Kravitz, Matt Smith, Regina King, Liev Schreiber and more.
Caught Stealing is rated MA15+, runs 107 minutes and is in cinemas now.
I loved this film SO much! I genuinely can’t think of one I’ve enjoyed more in recent memory. It’s laugh-out-loud funny and has loads of heart. Yes, I shed a few tears along the way too!
The Ballad of Wallis Island is co-written by and stars UK stand-up comedian Tim Key. Key plays Charles, a lonely and slightly eccentric man living by himself on a remote Welsh island. He hires his favourite musical duo (Carey Mulligan and Tom Basden, who is the other co-writer of the film) to visit the island to play a gig for him but things are a tad complicated by the fact they are no longer a duo on stage or off, as they were in their heyday. How Charles can afford to pay them to do this is a fun gag I won’t spoil.
The Ballad of Wallis Island is rated PG and runs 100 minutes. If you only get to one film this year, make it this one. It’s a complete joy.
This film is a … tribute, I guess you’d say, to the 1988 comedy film of the same name which has a cult following. You don’t need to have seen the original to enjoy this one at all. It stands alone as a slapstick, silly comedy just as confidently as the original. Starring Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson as cop and femme fatale, this film made me laugh out loud many, many times. It’s really dumb, just as the original was, so you need to be able to cope with that to enjoy it, but cleverly the film is just 85 minutes long. Any longer and it’d stretch the friendship too far.
The Naked Gun (2025) is rated M and in cinemas now. If you need a brainless laugh, it’s right up your alley.
This isn’t a remake or prequel or sequel to the 1997 slasher film of the same name, just another shot at a similar thing, I guess, complete with significant cameos from stars of the original, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Freddie Prinze Jnr (still handsome!) and Jennifer Love Hewitt. What a trio of spectacular names!
I haven’t seen the original in a million (25+!) years so I can’t properly reflect on how it compares but as a stand alone film, I enjoyed this a lot more than I expected! Horror’s very much not my deal but like the original it’s more slasher than horror and not actually scary in any way. You’ll be too busy laughing at how silly it is!
Based on the hooting and hollering from others at the screening I was at, there’s clearly some special joy in it for fans of the original (laughing at call backs that meant absolutely nothing to me) and it’s just silly fun for the rest of us. That said, as a slasher film, whilst not scary it is pretty gross so if blood and gore’s not your thing you should absolutely, categorically give this a miss.
I took an 18 year old woman as my +1 to the screening and she really enjoyed it, offering a 4 star review. The cast is packed with young hot people she knows but I definitely don’t. Sorry for being old and boring!
I Know What You Did Last Summer is in cinemas now, rated MA15+ and runs 111 minutes. Here’s a proper review from The Guardian - 3 stars - if you want more details on the storyline etc.
I’m a 40+ year old woman with no interest in superheroes, DC films, marvel films yada yada … so it’s no surprise really that about 15 minutes into this film I thought, this has a big audience but it definitely ain’t me. But what is a bit more of a surprise is that, a) about 20 minutes later I thought, I think this film might actually be quite bad, and b) I took a 30-something year old man to the preview and he FELL ASLEEP during the film. Do you know how hard it is to fall asleep in a very loud, very bright superhero film at IMAX?! You guys, we just didn’t like it and there’s no way to sugar coat it. The storyline was naff in many ways, there was some appalling dialogue and Superman (David Corenswet) wasn’t the charming hero you’d expect. What other conclusion can we draw?! It’s not our fault we didn’t like it!
The proper reviews appear to be pretty mixed. In order to balance mine I offer this positive one in the UK Telegraph. There’s plenty that are less positive but I won’t labour the point by sharing any of those.
Superman opens in cinemas on 10 July 2025, runs 130 minutes and is rated M.
If there’s a more predictable film than F1, I haven’t seen it. Genuinely, if you told me ChatGPT had written the script I’d believe you. (Though actually if you told ChatGPT to throw in a few plot twists it probably could have come up with better!)
It’s good old Hollywood razzle dazzle visually with plenty of middle-distance staring by Brad Pitt who plays the lead so if that’s your cup of tea and you don’t need a decent storyline, perhaps you’ll enjoy this.
Pitt plays Sonny Hayes, a has-been F1 driver attempting to make an unlikely comeback. He’s a sullen chap, old mate Sonny, and you get the feeling Pitt doesn’t exactly have to stretch much to meet the casting criteria on that front.
If you want to know more about the storyline check out this BBC review.
F1 has an audience but it sure ain’t me and I also think it’s likely a smaller pool of people than the marketing of the film would suggest.
It opens on Thursday 26 June, runs 155 minutes and is rated M.
This film is terrible.
The Phoenician Scheme is a little odd but I laughed plenty and broadly enjoyed it! One of the lead roles is played by a young woman who was unfamiliar to me, Mia Threapleton, and I spent the whole film thinking, this woman is flippin’ incredible! How have I never seen her before?! Anyways, turns out Mia is the daughter of Kate Winslet so not exactly a surprise that she’s hella talented.
Mia steals the show in The Phoenician Scheme as Liesl Korda, a nun and daughter of Zsa-Zsa Korda, the other lead role in the film, played by Benicio Del Toro. Zsa-Zsa is trying “to dominate the economy of a fictional Middle Eastern nation with an interlocking series of mining transportation and fishing ventures, by using exploitative slave labour and moreover manipulating the agricultural market in such a way as to cause famine.” The smaller characters with whom he must negotiate are played by some BIG names which is amazing and a credit to director Wes Anderson who was presumably the draw card to attract their participation. Tom Hanks’ role was modest but Willem Dafoe’s is positively tiny. Willem Dafoe for crying out loud! I love that guy! And he’s in this film for, like, a minute or maybe two. Michael Cera is a key player in the film and very funny and likeable per usual.
I rarely talk about directors on this blog because part of the origin story of its purpose is my desire to give what many people want rather than an in-depth critique; that is, a quick ‘yeah see this’ or ‘hell no, this is awful’. But Wes Anderson is a man with many, many very committed fans who are waiting to hear what his new film is like and on that front I’m here to say that it’s PRETTY Wes Anderson but not VERY Wes Anderson. So if you’re a Wes Anderson-stan it might not be weird and wonderfully Wes-ish enough for you. But for those like me who aren’t really observing such things, this is a bit of fun.
The Phoenician Scheme is in cinemas now, rated M and runs for 101 minutes. Click on the linked section of text above that’ll take you to The Guardian’s three star review if you’re keen to read more.
WOW WOW WOW!
I absolutely loved this musical theatre production of Beetlejuice that’s just opened in Melbourne! It’s written by Melbourne’s own Eddie Perfect who also stars in the titular role. The script and his performance are funny and clever and just all round superb. The whole supporting cast are all extremely talented too but I’m reserving a special shout out for the young woman who plays the other lead role of Lydia, Karis Oka. Her voice is spectacular.
After Eddie’s opening number as Beetlejuice the crowd just absolutely roared with applause and praise. It was a sign of what was to come and the roaring and cheering didn’t let up the whole night, right through to a standing ovation at the end of the show.
You don’t need to have seen either of the movies (1988 & 2024) to enjoy this show though if you have seen either of them, the first especially, you’ll possibly enjoy this even more as it’s a lovely nod to the much loved film whilst being very original and modern.
When I think of the kids in my life I’m confident they’d all really love this. There’s certainly a little fruity language and some adult themes but with big, brash, colourful musicals like this, things move so fast that I’m sure it’ll mostly be lost of them and be fine. Two and a half hours is a long time though so probably not for little little kids.
I reckon Melburnians should be super proud of this home-grown show and I hope it goes from strength to strength around Australia and beyond. It’s playing in Melbourne until early August and I can’t encourage you enough to go and see this, especially if musicals are your thing. It’s fun and bold and will make you want to jump up and dance if you’re anything like me!
Mickey 17 is part sci fi, part fantasy, part comedy, part GAH and long time readers may know that sci fi and fantasy are really not my cup of tea. But in spite of that I enjoyed this wild ride far more than I expected to! Apart from being about half an hour too long, (2hr 17 mins total run time) it’s really great!
Robert Pattinson stars as Mickey, an "expendable" crew member on a space mission, selected for dangerous tasks because he can be renewed if his body dies, with his memories largely intact. He dies and is renewed many times in the film until one time things go awry. UH OH!
Pattinson and the whole cast of this film are excellent! Aussies Toni Collette and Daniel Henshall alongside Mark Ruffalo and Steven Yeun all kill it. I don’t often talk directors but this film is directed by Bong Joon Ho who is also responsible for the 2019 hit film Parasite. I reckon if you loved Parasite - as so many did - you will enjoy Mickey 17.
So to cut to the chase, if you like wild fantasy and sci fi I reckon you’ll love this and if they’re not your usual cup of tea but you’re open to something new that’s funny and wild, give Mickey 17 a try!
Mickey 17 is rated M and opens on 6 March 2025. Trailer here.
This film should be awesome and it just … isn’t quite.
The film follows Shelly (Pamela Anderson) who is a seasoned 57 year old showgirl who suddenly has to plan for her future when the show she’s been in for decades closes. Anderson is good but not the revelation you hope and she’s nowhere near as good as Jamie Lee Curtis who plays Shelly’s friend Annette who is a former showgirl herself.
This film runs just 87 minutes and whilst I’d usually rate that highly, it doesn’t work here. For example, Shelly’s complicated relationship with her daughter is touched on but not explored deeply enough and the ‘revelation’ of who the daughter’s father is, even less so.
I wanted to love this. Yay Pamela making a comeback! Yay women in their 50s being portrayed as beautiful showgirls! Yay Jamie Lee Curtis always! But it just doesn’t quite live up to what it could and should have been. Save this one for when it pops up on a streamer, if you’re really curious.
The Last Showgirl is rated M and is in cinemas now.
Well this was … fun!
Was it high quality? Will it win an Oscar? Heck no! And that’s ok!
If you liked the previous BJ films, I’m confident you’ll like this one. Same tone, same vibes, largely same crew. I laughed and shed a few tears!
Bridget (Renee Zellweger) returns in the titular role, minus her husband Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) who died four years prior, leaving her to raise their young children Billy and Mabel. The film follows the tried and tested formula of two men fighting for a piece of Bridget’s heart, both new gents on the scene rather than the ol’ Mark Darcy v Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant) thing. That said, Cleaver does feature in the film and Hugh is so good when he can play camp and naughty. Giving him his own heartstring-pulling storyline was probably unnecessary and cutting that would have been the perfect way to chip 20 minutes out of the film which it could do with.
It’s cheesy, implausible in many parts and it pinches some vibes from Love Actually but all in all, if you’re a fan of the franchise, I reckon you won’t be disappointed. If you don’t have any idea what any of this means and you’ve missed the Bridget Jones boat entirely then give this film a miss, obviously!
Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy is rated M, runs 125 minutes and opens in cinemas on 13 February.
The Bob Dylan biopic starring Timothee Chalamet as the man himself is finally here! And it’s … MEH.
Is it terrible? No. Is it great? Also no.
Chalamet is excellent but here’s the thing… and I’m sorry but look away now Dylan fans … if this film is anything to go by, Bob Dylan’s life story is a bit dull. OK no, that’s too much, but it’s just pretty darn predictable.
Prodigious talent gets discovered and then a) wants to change creative direction and must fight against his corporate overloads to do so … check. b) becomes a bit of a cad with the ladies … check. c) lets his ego get out of control and becomes a bit of a jerk… check. So far so expected.
The effort gone into making this biopic could have been directed to someone with a more surprising and intriguing story if you ask me. I’m sorry, I don’t make the ‘cut to the chase’ rules where I have to tell you the truth like this! Wait … what?!
A Complete Unknown runs for 141 minutes, is rated M and opens in cinemas on 23 January.
I went into Emilia Perez knowing literally nothing other than that it’s an awards-contender, including not knowing it won Best Picture - Comedy/Musical at the recent Golden Globes or that it’s a musical.
It’s one of the strangest films I’ve ever seen, I think. I really loved it! And I’d actually recommend going in knowing nothing so I’m going to keep this brief. (Cut to the chase! It’s how we roll!)
If you like a musical - I know they’re not for everyone - get yourself to a session of Emilia Perez. It’s quite something!
Emilia Perez runs 132 minutes, is rated MA15+ and is in cinemas now.
Look I’m sorry to be a basic you-know-what but I just think, if your film is THREE HOURS AND THIRTY FIVE MINUTES long you have done something wrong. (Did somebody say ‘four part Netflix doco’? I sure wish they had.)
Escaping postwar Europe in 1947, visionary architect László Toth (Adrien Brody) moves to Pennsylvania USA to rebuild his life and career. There, wealthy and prominent industrialist Harrison Lee Van Buren (Guy Pearce) recognises his talent and hires Toth to work on cutting edge projects. Van Buren’s support, like his psyche, is … complex.
This film won Best Motion Picture - Drama at the recent Golden Globe awards which supports my theory that Hollywood rewards pretentious film-making. The film has so many threads to unravel - you don’t get to 3.5+ hours for nuthin’ - that it’s just all a bit much for me. I can’t in good conscience recommend you spend $25 of your hard-earned to see this, even if it stars Guy Pearce who I love enormously. (Mike Young forever! IYKYK!)
Are there great things about this film? Sure. But at this time of year when there’s so many excellent films out I just can’t get behind The Brutalist.
Paddington in Peru is the third Paddington film following two really fabulous outings in 2017 and 2014. This one doesn’t quite live up to the joy of the first two for me but it’s still totally charming and enjoyable.
I’ve been pondering what about this one in Peru doesn’t equal the pleasure of the first two and I think it particularly suffers in comparison to the 2017 one starring Hugh Grant as a brilliant villain. (How did he not win awards for that!?) We have two foes for Paddington in Peru, who I won’t identify lest it spoil the plot for you! One is excellent but the other has less charm than Hugh Grant unfortunately.
Paddington sets off to Peru with the Brown family, with whom he lives in London, to visit and find his aunt Lucy. They get some dodgy advice and ‘help’ and it makes for a fun adventure.
I’d recommend this, it is definitely an enjoyable film for kids and adults alike, but just temper your expectations a smidge if you loved the first and/or second Paddington films.
Paddington in Peru is rated PG, runs 106 minutes and is in cinemas now.
Anora is so great!
It’s about an exotic dancer and occasional sex worker - Anora (or Ani) - who starts a relationship with her client Vanya, the son of a crazy wealthy Russian oligarch. Ani, played by Mikey Madison who is superb, is as tough as old boots and has a hell of a fire burning in her belly. There’s a lot of yelling in this film! Vanya does his share of yelling too and I imagine viewers of a certain (ahem) age, like me, will see a decent dose of Screech from Saved by the Bell in the actor who plays him, Mark Eidelstein.
When Vanya’s parents in Russia find out about the rushed Vegas wedding to “a whore” they react very badly and chaos ensues. Whilst I wouldn’t call this truly a comedy it is very funny at times, including when the Russian family’s local ‘agents’ who are meant to be supervising Vanya enact their wishes to have the marriage annuled whilst they make their way to New York.
Anora won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival which is the prize awarded to the director of the Best Feature Film at the festival. High praise! It’s also nominated for Best Motion Picture (Musical or Comedy) at the Golden Globes so it’s got a lot of fans and is well worth your time!
Anora is rated MA15+, runs for 139 minutes (long but doesn’t feel it) and is in cinemas now.
A movie about Robbie Williams where they cast him as a CGI chimpanzee, you say? Hmmmm. Intriguing.
Before seeing Better Man I’d seen the trailer a number of times and always wondered, why on earth have they made him a chimpanzee?! What a bizarre thing to do! Getting an explanation for that was what actually got me to see the film I think, more so than a desire to see Robbie Williams’ life story which I felt more across than I’d ever need to be thanks to the Netflix doco about his life released in late 2023.
In light of all that I’m disappointed to say that there is never an explanation for this bizarre creative choice in Better Man. Subsequently I have googled it and found interviews in which the director explains the choice so my curiosity is satisfied but the truth is, I spent this whole film which is otherwise very good being completely distracted by why Robbie was a flippin’ chimpanzee!
One of the joys of this film is remembering what a bunch of complete BANGERS Robbie Williams is responsible for. Unlike some other quite bleak films that are released during awards season, this film actually IS a toe-tapping good time! A baffling good time but a good time nonetheless.
Regular readers will know I’m a big fan of Australian actor Damon Herriman and I’m delighted to say he features in this with some flawless accent work as agent/manager Nigel Martin Smith, alongside other talents like Kate Mulvaney and Alison Steadman as Robbie’s mother and grandmother respectively.
All in all, I did enjoy Better Man but I think I would have enjoyed it a lot more had Robbie been cast as a human. Call me crazy! And/or boring!
Better Man runs 135 minutes, is rated MA15+ and opens on 26 December.
When it comes to Conclave, think Succession meets House of Cards meets Borgen but where the players are fighting to be Pope. I make the comparison because you don’t have to be religious to be engaged in the power struggle as a viewer so don’t write it off thinking it’s strictly Catholic business.
That said, for me Conclave didn’t live up to the trailer which made the film seem gripping. It isn’t the first film to suffer that fate and it sure won’t be the last but I was a bit disappointed. It’s not a bad film - it’s nominated for Best Motion Picture - Drama at the Golden Globes - but I was never on the edge of my seat, intrigued to see what happened next. There were twists and turns along the way but none were truly shocking until the one right at the end which felt so unlikely that it just left me thinking, ‘really?!’. No spoilers here!
Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci and John Lithgow play some of the men in line for the top job and all are, predictably, excellent. Isabella Rossellini has a relatively small but significant role as a nun on the edges of this unique Catholic process and she too delivers a great performance
I know two others who have seen this - both church-going Catholics - and one felt about the same as me and the other really liked it. On balance, I’d say this falls into ‘can wait for it to pop up on a streaming service’ for me. Good but not quite as good as I hoped or the trailer implied.
Conclave runs 120 minutes, opens 9 January 2025 and is rated PG. Trailer here.
