GRETA - film / by Stephanie Puls

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This film is terrible. I’m sorry but there’s no two ways about it.

If you plan to see this despite my opening line, fair warning that there’s mini spoilers ahead.

Greta is a drama/thriller which is sufficiently bad as to make it not in any way thrilling. Actually that’s not fair. There is some suspense but I and much of the audience I saw it with laughed our way through many of the (meant to be) suspenseful moments.

Greta (Isabelle Huppert) is a lonely lady living by herself (or is she?!) in New York. At first it seems like she’s just lonely but in fact she’s deeply troubled. Her deal is to leave handbags as traps on the subway which innocent young women like Frances (Chloe Grace Moretz) pick up and return to her at her lair sorry I mean home.

You know how in spoof horror films the hot young characters do things where you can tell with absolute certainty that something bad will happen to them but that’s the point because it’s implausible and funny and predictable? Sadly Greta’s got a bit of that about it.

I can’t in good conscience recommend this to you so I’m going to leave it at that. If you want to know more about the film check out this two star review in The Guardian which amusingly calls Greta a “dim-witted thriller”. Indeed.

Greta opens in cinemas on 28 February and is rated MA15+. Trailer here.