THE MUMMY - film / by Stephanie Puls

The Mummy is a US action film starring Tom Cruise as Nick Morton, a soldier who pinches ancient artifacts from all around the world and sells them online. Some of you may remember the 1999 version of the same film starring Brendan Fraser. I confess I haven't seen that one so it was all new to me and I went in with an open mind.

Unfortunately said open mind was filled with a big ol' pile of stupid when I watched this one. But I will say it was more watchable stupid than I expected. Not many proper critics are with me on that front; the film is being pretty universally panned. In fact, news.com.au have amused themselves by collating the best lines from the bad reviews here, if you're interested.

It's a complex and silly plot and therefore difficult to sum up 'cut to the chase' style so I'll take the description from the distributor for you: " Though safely entombed in a crypt deep beneath the unforgiving desert, an ancient princess, whose destiny was unjustly taken from her, is awakened in our current day bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia, and terrors that defy human comprehension. "

Along with Tom Cruise, whose lame doe-eyed 'I'm puzzled face' is only partially offset by his bangin' 54 year old rig, the film also stars Russell Crowe (who ain't the hottie leading man he once was, I'll say that much) in a wise professor-type role and Sofia Boutella as The Mummy.

The friend I saw the film with gave me specific instructions to quote her in this blog. Her thoughts? "I was embarrassed for Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe. People were laughing and it is not a comedy."

So in summary, I wasn't a fan of this one but in the interests of fairness, here's a three star review from The Telegraph (UK) which manages to find more positives than most other critics.

Trailer here. In cinemas now.